Old friends have no use for decorum

I was thinking about an episode from Felicity where she and Noel, her boyfriend, are having a disagreement and suddenly he refers to her by name, alarming her a bit, like, whoa, why are you using my name when you’re talking to me, you never do that. I can relate. With people I’ve grown comfortable and close to, we usually reach this point where we hardly ever address each other by name—there just doesn’t seem to be a need to, save for when you’re attempting to get their attention in a large, noisy crowd. But when you’re hanging out or having a conversation just the two of you, no need.

So in a conversation (a “Hello, [insert name here]!” is not what I’m talking about) when I’m referred to by name by this person I’ve known for so long, it throws this little bit of formality into a relationship that has otherwise outgrown the awkward politeness of new friendships, relationships. It’s then that I feel, “Ok, something’s up, something not good.” Sure, the tone is important, but I think the mere use of your name is significant, as well.

The last time I referred to an old friend by name in this way was when I had my very last conversation with my ex and best friend of so many years just a few months ago. We both called each other by name in our goodbyes, something we never, ever did before, and in this strange, though mutually understood way, it added a certain finality to our relationship, and any future correspondence.

“Bye, S—-.”
“Bye, K—-.”

And without having to say much further, we knew what it meant.