It's in the genes

Is it the end of September already?

Every once in a while I notice some behavior in me that I identify with my father and it serves as this bitter reminder that I have not [yet] escaped the clutches and influence of heredity and environment.

Feet in the water

So I notice the same hesitancies popping up. In these situations, I don’t like making myself feel vulnerable, so I keep quiet, subdue my feelings and appear calm when what I really want to do is jump up and down exuberantly. I told myself, last time, and to someone else, that I wasn’t going to do that anymore. I want to be more open, more fearless, be willing to just take a chance and do it, say it, whatever.

Emotion vs. Reason

Whenever I find myself fretting about seemingly insignificant things, I try to remind myself of all the other times where I worried and imagined the worst possible scenarios only to have things turn out quite differently than I had imagined.

It works, sometimes.

Excerpts from my moleskine

“When you do something particularly bold, or against your better judgment, feelings of idiocy become a function of time—that is, the more time that passes after such an act, the more stupid you feel. Ugh!” (March 2008)